You Are Not “A Little Bit ADHD” — Here is Why That Matters
If I had a dollar for every time someone casually said, “Oh yeah, I’m probably a little ADHD too,” I would be writing this from a beach in the Maldives.
As a psychologist, and someone who works closely with neurodivergent clients, I want to lovingly but firmly unpack this increasingly popular (and misleading) idea that “we’re all a little bit on the spectrum” or “everyone’s a bit ADHD.”
Let’s get one thing straight; being forgetful SOMETIMES does not mean you have ADHD.
Yes, many of us are tired, distracted, and overwhelmed, modern life does that. But that is not the same thing as living with a neurodevelopmental condition that affects EVERY aspect of how you think, feel, plan, work, and relate to others.
ADHD Isn’t Just “Squirrel!”
There is a common stereotype that ADHD is just about being easily distracted or bouncing from one task to the next like a hyperactive puppy. But for people with ADHD, it’s deeper than that.
It is struggling to start a task you want to do, even when there are real consequences.
It is forgetting important things, not because you’re careless, but because your working memory is like a sieve.
It is needing 14 reminders and still missing an appointment.
It is masking through social situations, burning out after the effort, and wondering why you can’t keep up like everyone else.
Many people with ADHD experience chronic shame, frustration, and exhaustion, especially when their struggles are dismissed as laziness or “just being a bit scattered.”
And Then There’s Hyperfixation
Let’s not forget the flip side of distractibility: hyperfixation.
Hyperfixation is when someone with ADHD becomes intensely absorbed in one activity, topic, or interest, often to the exclusion of everything else. It might look like productivity from the outside, but it can be exhausting, disruptive, and difficult to control.
It is spending six hours researching something you suddenly must understand, while forgetting to eat, sleep, or respond to messages.
It is burning through a creative project in one night and then hitting a wall of burnout the next day.
It is finding peace in deep focus, but also guilt and frustration when other responsibilities pile up around you.
Hyperfixation is part of what makes ADHD so misunderstood, because the person who "can’t focus" in one context may seem too focused in another. This tug-of-war can be deeply frustrating, especially in work or study environments that demand consistency and predictability.
Why This Misunderstanding Hurts
When people say “we’re all a bit ADHD,” they usually mean well, maybe they are trying to relate, or lighten the mood. But here is what often gets missed:
It minimises the lived experience of people with ADHD.
It contributes to the ongoing stigma that ADHD is not a “real” diagnosis.
It delays access to assessment and support, because people are told they are just being dramatic.
It also makes it harder for individuals to seek help. If everyone’s “a little ADHD,” then what is the point of pursuing a diagnosis, right?
But the reality is: diagnosis can change lives. It brings clarity, opens doors to support, and allows people to stop beating themselves up for things their brain just doesn’t do in a “typical” way.
Let’s Normalise Neurodiversity — The Right Way
Neurodivergence is not a trend. It is not a vibe. It is not something we should dilute into a personality quirk so that it feels more comfortable to talk about.
What we can do is this:
Be open to learning from neurodivergent voices.
Challenge stereotypes, even the “funny” ones.
Support friends, family, and clients who are navigating ADHD or autism, especially when the world was not built with them in mind.
Stop assuming that the struggles of a neurodivergent person are just “everyday” problems.
Because sure, we all forget things. We all scroll too long on Instagram. But not all of us experience the intense executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, or day-to-day barriers that people with ADHD face; especially in school, at work, and in relationships.
So next time you are tempted to say, “I’m probably a little ADHD too,” try saying this instead:
“I’ve noticed I struggle with focus sometimes; I can’t imagine how tough it must be when that’s a constant thing. What helps you cope?”
Empathy goes a lot further than assumptions.
If you or someone you care about is navigating life with ADHD, you are not alone; and help is available. Therapy can be a powerful tool for understanding your brain, reducing shame, building executive function skills, and creating sustainable systems that work with your neurodivergence; not against it.
Whether you are newly diagnosed or just starting to ask questions, reaching out is a strong and valid first step. You deserve support that sees you clearly and meets you where you are.