Finding Your Compass: Living by Your Values with ACT
In my work as a psychologist, one of the most transformative tools I use with clients comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): the exploration of values. These are not just abstract ideas; they are the deeply personal directions that can help you navigate life’s challenges and make meaningful choices, even when things feel uncertain or overwhelming.
What Are Values in ACT?
In ACT, values are freely chosen qualities of being and doing; the ways you want to show up in your life, your relationships, and your community. They are different from goals. A goal might be "get a new job," but a value is more like “persistence” or “growth.” You never “complete” a value. Instead, you live it; moment by moment, decision by decision.
Think of values as your internal compass. They do not remove the storms of life, but they help you keep moving in the direction that matters most to you.
Why Values Matter in Therapy
Many clients come to therapy feeling stuck, lost, or disconnected—from themselves, their goals, or the life they imagined. Reconnecting with values helps create clarity and motivation. For example:
A client who values family may begin setting clearer boundaries at work.
A client who values courage may choose to attend social events despite their anxiety.
A client who values compassion may start responding to their own struggles with more kindness.
Values do not eliminate pain, but they do help us face it with purpose.
How Do You Know What Your Values Are?
If you are not sure where to begin, here are a few reflection questions we often explore in therapy:
What matters most to me?
When have I felt most fulfilled, proud, or connected?
What do I want my life to stand for?
In our sessions, we might use guided exercises to help clarify your values across different areas of life: relationships, work, personal growth, health, or spirituality.
Living Your Values in Everyday Life
Once values are clear, we begin turning them into practical actions. This might mean:
Speaking up for yourself in a difficult conversation.
Prioritising time with loved ones.
Engaging in a creative project, even if self-doubt shows up.
Showing self-compassion during setbacks.
When you take actions that align with your values, life tends to feel more authentic, more you; even in the presence of emotional pain.
A Gentle Reminder
You will not live perfectly by your values all the time; none of us do. That is okay. What matters is the willingness to keep coming back to what is important, with kindness and curiosity. Therapy can support you in doing just that.
If you are feeling disconnected, unmotivated, or unsure where to start, exploring your values can be a powerful step forward. In my work with clients, I help create space for this exploration; not to add pressure, but to offer a sense of direction that feels meaningful and sustainable.
If you would like support identifying your values and using them to guide your life, feel free to get in touch.